My lil' thoughts...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

To the parents...

"Suppose, for example, that I am highly overreactive to my children. Suppose that whenever they begin to do something I feel is inappropriate, I sense an immediate tensing in the pit of my stomach. I feel defensive walls go up; I prepare for battle. My focus is not on the long-term growth and understanding but on the short-term behavior. I'm trying to win the battle, not the war.

I pull out my ammunition- my superior size, my position of authority- and I yell or intimidate or I threaten or punish. And I win. I stand there, victorious, in the middle of the debris of a shattered relationship while my children are outwardly submissive and inwardly rebellious, suppressing feelings that will come out later in uglier ways."


When reading this part of the book, the very first thing that came to my mind is to update it into my blog, and dedicate it to all the great parents out there, especially my beloved sister.
Human beings have got this dominating factor build into their system.
Human beings naturally love to dominate.
Who doesn't like the feeling of victory?
From my perspective, it's a very healthy behaviour as long as you know when to win, and what to win. In arguments, fights, work or even family... the dominating habit applies..
But towards a child?

I strongly believe a child has the potential to learn as much as an adult.
The reason is clear.
They are growing up.
How many adults are actually growing up? hmm....
Their lil' minds are absorbing as much information as an adult. They are at a learning stage, which is the most important stage in a lifespan. Guide a child the wrong way, and he/she will have a tougher time in his/her later stage in life. You don't pamper them, you guide them, correct them and explain to them.

Let the kid understand who he/she is.
Let them understand themself.
Let them know what they want.
Make them think...

"Mum, can I go out with my friends?"
"No"
"But ... why can't I go out with them?"
"I say No means No."

Does the above passage sounds familiar?
I been thru that umpteen times...
The mother above is doing what SHE wants,
and not giving her kid a chance to understand what they want.

"Never use your authority as a parent to tell the kid what to do"
It's unhealthy.

Let them learn..
Make them think..
Make them understand themself..




Kids are never a burden.
They are OUR future..

posted by: Dental Care @ 1:29 AM

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