My lil' thoughts...

Friday, November 02, 2007

Someone

When I open my eyes this morning...
I just thought of someone...
Looking up at the ceiling..
Her image begin to form right in front of me...
It was so vivid...

During my growing up years as a teenage,
I was busy working..
Friends around me knows that I am a workaholic..
To others, it may seem to be 'just another part time job'..
but to me, I had a different view back then..
They are work experiences to me.
and I know that they will be a valuable asset for me in the future.
My daily lifestyle was School, followed by work..
On certain days, I skipped school just to work...
I treat my home like a hotel.
Check in and out as and when I feel like to...
Unknowingly, I left one of the most important emotional factor at home.
I made her worried...

My mum used to call me and ask about my whereabout.. and to a growing up teen, this has put me into embarrassments. The kind of stupid peer pressure that one would face when out with friends. The numerous number of missed calls, the constant screaming in the phone telling me to go home asap..
I hate it..

But now,
I miss that kind of feeling of someone telling me to go home...
Someone telling me that she have cooked my dinner...
Someone telling me that I am the one she love the most..

***

Yesterday morning while waiting for the bus,
I saw a familiar face...
someone that is supposingly to be very close with me...
He was walking slowly,
with his head slightly tilt down..
His accumulating wrinkles adds up to form a depressing look...
He aged...

My dad used to be a really happy go lucky person..
Always looking at things on the bright side...
He got a "nothing can beat me kinda attitude"
But looking at him yesterday.. I know that he's have long past that stage...
It's been 5 years since tragedy struck...
Sometimes...
I am wondering if he is taking on things just like me now..

Mum.. I miss you so much...
Sometimes I am just a little boy out there, crying out loud for you to hug me..
I just want to hug you..
Just once will be enough..
Mum.. just once...
I regretted all my actions..
I hate myself for not answering your calls back then....
I hate myself for not coming back home for dinner ..
I promise I will come back home everyday and accompany you...
I can quit my job and be with you...
In fact I can give up everything you know?
I miss your cooking do you know that?
I want to tell you I am doing well, and can provide you with anything you want now..
I want to tell you how are things in my life now...and what are my plans for the future..
I want to hug you so badly now do you know that?
Afterall..
I am still a child..
A child that want to say..
"Mummy I love you"

I made a promise not to cry anymore ever since u left us..
Its been 5 years...
Unfortunately,
I just broke that promise...

posted by: Dental Care @ 10:37 AM

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